Observations & conclusions pt. 3

For some reason, I just keep forgetting that I have a blog. I have so many ideas I want to jot down but as the day goes by, they end up just fading away.

Just a heads up, I'm in Pune at the moment and today is my nephew's birthday. Alistair, Happy fuckin' birthday! It's so cold out here that my piss is freezing and my nuts are slowly turning into ice-cubes.

Anywho, observations and conclusions time. Here goes.

- People come and go, people betray you but dogs are the only creatures on earth that love you more than they love themselves.

- House lizards or geckos are the most mis-understood creatures. People who hate lizards are most likely to be shallow scumbags.

- Do you live to choose? Or do you choose to live?

- If someone asks you for water, never refuse them. That's the least you can do. 

- Sometimes I wish guns weren't invented. It took away the whole purpose of a bare knuckle fight where both would have an equal opportunity to beat or get beaten.

- Advice is one thing that everybody loves to give for free but nobody likes to receive it.

That's all for now. Feels good to be back :) 

The other side of the road

I wonder what’s on the other side of the road,

Is it green grass or fresher pastures?

Or a mirror reflection of the antithesis of life?

While I wait here looking down the road,

I see a shepherd, pleasantly tending his flock,

and think of those burned bridges as I run down the clock.

From the other side, I hear my name being called 

and those arms being waved,

that awakens me from my day dream.

But the only question still running through my mind is;

Why did the chicken cross the road?

This post has no title

What's airing on TV at the moment? KBC, which, in my opinion is shit. I'm in no mood watch a movie, no mood to communicate with a living being and don't even feel like hitting the sack. So here I am on my PC jotting down exactly what's going on in my head.

My mouth is shut, my mind speaks and my fingers are the typing. Isn't that multi-tasking in some form? I've just realized, this is real-time stuff. But again, it won't be real-time until someone is reading every word I type.    So then, this is semi-real time. Now, to nullify the noise on the telly, I plug in my earphones and play a song on windows media player. Fake tales of San Francisco by the Arctic Monkeys. No, they're not anywhere near my favourite band but yeah, it's better than Bachchan's voice on TV. It's a good, peppy song and now there is music fueling and feeding in some thoughts, some insights which will take time to formulate. You know, some thoughts are so quick, they occur to you within a fraction of a second and poof! that award winning, philosophical genius of a thought is GONE!!!

Aah, Lemmy's voice, man! Motorhead is so fucking brilliant. An absolute bliss to listen to, anytime. And my playlist is now kicking in a groove. Oh oh, wait a minute, a random thought has struck thee! All this while the song is playing!

RANDOM THOUGHT: If drunkenness is your reality, you've got to see the doctor.

I'm not gonna delve deeper into that but if that makes sense to anyone who reads this (which I'm sure no one will), you'll get the chance to make a full 30 minute presentation on this random thought. For now, I haven't stumbled upon an interesting insight to rant or comment or give my expert common-man opinions on. So it's still my mind's ramblings doing the talking and... FULL POWER! 'World Painted Blood' is hits the play button. What an insane performance in India, I had the privilege of watching perhaps the best LIVE metal act yet. Not discouraging Opeth's performance, but Slayer really stepped up a notch on that one which made 2 really kick-ass shows I attended this year. Still regret missing out on Megadeth and the soon-to-be performing Testament thanks to the Bhenchod wedding season and the 'christmessy' feeling going on at the moment. Talking about year end celebrations, isn't it weird that we all party on the 31st, wait for the countdown and all that shit, celebrate the dawn of the new year but a week later, you're still living the same shitty life, doing the same fucking thing and all your so called 'new year resolutions' have been flushed down the toilet. I'm talking about at least 75% of the people and that includes thy humble fucking self. Yeah, I'd pat myself on the back for that. 

And on that note, I think I'm done with this post. Music has taken over. My subconscious mind has stopped processing fragments of information/stuff for me to translate onto this blogpost.

The 100 Crore Club

I was flipping through the TV channels the other day when I stumbled upon a talk show featuring a prominent bollywood director. On any other day, I wouldn't have paid an atom of attention to it, but for some reason, I felt I was in for something and continued to watch the show. 

The blah-blah Q&A discussion crawled and the show dragged on as usual. The host put forth a question to the guest about ‘the 100 crore club’ and films being a ‘box office success’ to which the director fantastically replied that ‘it is an honour being part of the 100 crore club because at the end of the day, people pay see entertaining films.’ He also mentioned phrases such as ‘aam janta’, ‘keeping your brains at home to watch a film’ and a few more phrases that I really don’t want to remember.

As the show ended, thoughts kept running through my head about this enlightening talk with this even more brilliant director. Let me dissect this above paragraph phrase by phrase. 

The 100 Crore Club – With producers, multiplexes, actors and the others raking in big bucks, you’ve got to wonder whether a film really deserves to cross the 100 crore mark (Yes, we know people fall over each other to buy tickets in black for Housefull, De Dhana Dhan and many others) but get the point. Let me put it this way; it’s like looking at a brand new Rolls Royce sedan from the outside only to find that the interiors are of a black & yellow cab and the engine, a Maruti 800.

Aam janta – The best way to describe the ‘Aam janta’ is with a George Carlin quote that goes, “Think about this; think about how stupid the average person is, and then realize that half of them are stupider than that.” I couldn’t agree more.

If people paid Rs.700 for a ticket in black to watch Ek Tha Tiger, I’m out of words to complete this sentence. But yeah, again, I hope you get the point.
 

Having said this, I understand that people want to ‘unwind’ and ‘watch a good film’ on a weekend.  But as a director, knowing the that audience or the ‘aam janta’ rely on them to provide wholesome entertainment, don’t they feel a slight sense of responsibility to make a half decent film? Cars exploding to a gun shot, people bitten by an alligator or a snake and cracking a half-assed joke about it, throwing a bomb around in a game of passing the parcel and countless other scenes that engulf these ‘100 crore films’ today are not only senseless and daft, but they’re an embarrassment at the world stage (not to forget some of these films have been screened at international film festivals). 

Keeping your brains at home to watch a film – Seriously, whoever came up with this term can take a good hard look in the mirror, strip down bare naked and fuck themselves. Not only is this term invalid, but also an absolutely horrible claim to make in order to cover up for the maggot-infested film that they’ve directed. The funniest comedy films REQUIRE you to use your brains for witty dialogues! A film isn't remotely good if a person leaves the theater not having a thought about it or just giving a flying fuck. Wouldn’t you need your brains to discuss, share your opinion or even criticize it for that matter? 

To conclude, if Akshay Kumar having a duel with a monkey and the priceless expression on Deepika Padukone’s face is termed hilarious, then sadly, entertainment has taken a whole different meaning… for the worse. 
 

Observations & conclusions pt.2

Fond memories are always remembered. The bad ones are never forgotten.

If you can't beat them, join them and then beat them. Victory assured.

A broken heart will drive you to insanity. An empty stomach will force you to kill.

Liking your own status message or a picture on facebook is like licking your own balls.

Those who can't do, teach. Those who can't teach, write. And those who can't write are illiterate.

If Jesus were alive today, he would've converted water into whiskey.

Sadly, the keyboard is today's pen and paper.

Observations & conclusions

After five months in exile, I have returned to enlighten the world about things that don't really matter.

In this recurring section titled 'Observations & conclusions', I shall state my observations and try my very best (or not) to provide an apt conclusion to it.

I have observed that SantaClaus encourages prostitution during Christmas. Why else would he ride a sleigh and yell 'Ho Ho Ho! Merry Christmas! to all?

I have observed that basset hounds are stoner dogs. Really.

Spare the rod and flare the joint. It works.

If life was a race, all would have wanted to die first.

Hear, when a person talks. Listen, when a person speaks.

Soldiers fight a losing battle. In war, nobody wins.

The most powerful force in the world is not love, it's gravity.



Until next time.

Oblivion

Set foot on an empty road,

And all you’ll see is

a shadow of yourself

And a mirage of people

Showing you the light.

Follow the footsteps

Of a hidden trail

that leads you to...

Look behind to feel the presence,

of no one around.

Look above

And embrace the starless, night sky.

Let the moonlight, freeze you,

As you melt away, to the rays of the sun.

Hear the voices from deep within,

that speaks of nothing

but white noise.

Take in the aroma, of absolute silence,

Only to lose all your senses.

Speak, and you shan't be heard.

Pray, and you've lost all hope.

You count every second,

as the sound of your heartbeat

begins to fade away.

Ask, and you shall receive

Nothing.

Seek, and you shall find.

None.

Die, and you shall live forever...
and never more.